- March 019
Why am I roaming ? Well, I got knocked the fuck down I think… and needed a break.
Hi, I’m happy to finally post this blog, I’ve been waiting for the right timing and realised that it should just be now. So, I decided to roam cause i needed time to process some stuff. In order to do so, I needed to shuffle my cards a bit. I also wanted to face some sort of unknowed situations so I could figure it out.
But first off, my next step here is to walk into my camper Van with Téo and drive out West for a few months. It’s not my first time driving West, in fact, I did that drive at least 8 to 10 times. This time I upgrated to a Van. It is something I have been wanting to do for years. I wanted a dog & a Van for a good road trip so here I am. I just sold my car, my frenchie has no clue what he’s about to live and my Van is ready to go. It’s finally coming to reality. It’s Now.
I‘m also going to start with the fact that I am not quite sure where I want to live and this is also part this journey. I fell in love with a few places I’ve been at. I’m someone that easily adapt herself to changes so I’m sort of all in. For the last 12 years I have been living in a few different places and from each places I would road trip to explore the surroundings. 90% of the time, it was just me and my car. I loved every places I lived and hungout in and that for different reasons. The people I’ve met along the way definitely has a huge impact everywhere I go, that’s for sure.
Thought, for the last 2-3 years I have been traveling from Montreal to ski. I was going to Uni during summers and fall while taking care of an important injury. For a while I was making myself believe that stability was good for me…. which it isn’t bad … it is what I needed at the time untill I came to a point where I needed to shuffle the deck a bit cause i didn’t know which way I wanted to evolve. Maybe it just wasn’t quite my way of settling down just yet. It’s important to say that even if I was madly injured and staying in Montreal, I accomplished a lot of things and projects and definitely learned a few new skills. Only difference is that I was struggling with chronic pain for about 2 years, we couldn't figure out why and I couldn’t ski with passion anymore and was only trying not to give up while battling with pain, fatigue & fear.
I realized that for the last decade I thought I was superman or something. At least it felt like it cause not only I was injured for a decade… I was striving, working hard at bouncing back like nothing happened and that, the best I could each time. It was a lot of work. It’s fare to say that the love and passion would drive me at all cost. You know, not only I’ve lost sponsors along the way.. I had to do my best to gain trust in myself physically and mentally, then win trust of new sponsors etc..
I did do a lot of other creative things between that to keep myself balanced and I’m so thankful for that. I definitely found other passions.
But now, I gonna say though, with all things added up, life did knock the shit out me. It didn’t stop. Litterally. I experienced the craziest bad lucks all in a row which lead me to this. I couldn't just move past it. So instead of being lost in Montreal, I’ll be lost on the road which usually brings me back to myself. But holy, what a ride. It just took the total of me and I never thought I’d have to declare defeat.
Tho, it killed something in me .. Where did the excitement go ? Where did that fire go ?! So for me there is no better way to think, process while living with less in places that allows me to do what I love. I know everyone has it’s own battle in life and I’m not saying that this journey will change everything, but I'll be here to tell you if it does.
But this part of my blog will be news about my trip. Places I go and how it is to live out of a Van etc.
Love Love Love.